Such a combination of activities would be wholesome to you or I but potentially cataclysmic to an England goalkeeper. A Scottish, Irish or Welsh goalkeeper would survive the multi-task challenge, but throw just one of the variables into the life of an England stopper and observe the unfolding tragi-comedy.

And an England team without Paul Robinson might as well stay at home for the World Cup.

It may be a reflection on the state of the game south of the border that those Scottish goalkeepers who were once the brunt of English derision are looking not half bad. Craig Gordon of Hearts might not be the most experienced; nor Robert Douglas of Leicester via Celtic quite the sure-footed 'Steady Eddy' Walter Smith craves. But Gordon in particular is threatening to cut through age-old stereotyping and emerge as a Scottish number one of some standing. The message: You want it? You work for it.

The moment David James uttered his immortal line, "I wasn't fully prepared", his England fate was sealed. Clobbered 4-1 by Denmark in August 2005, England were reeling and second-half substitute James absorbed some of the press-lashing which otherwise would have been aimed with both barrels at Sven-Goran Eriksson.

So maybe the Manchester City goalkeeper does have his uses to the Swede, even if James might soon appropriate 'not bovvered' as his mantra. James has lost his status as England number one, but what happens when Robinson falls victim to the curse of the national goalkeeper?

Ah, the famous curse.
It has struck down David Seaman, Dave Beasant, Chris Woods, Richard Wright and even the great Gordon Banks, and duly Robinson will spot that black cat one morning and wake up in casualty by lunchtime.

Those England goalkeepers were going about their daily business, and had not reckoned with the power of the curse.